The Washlet

The Washlet from ToTo is a toilet seat that claims to make you happier. Their website features pictures of naked butts with smiles painted on them. The owners of these happy butts tell you about the features of this electric water toilet seat in videos on the site.

This might seem like a Saturday Night Live skit, but it's a real product.

Besides having a heated seat and a remote control, these toilet seats have up to five cleansing modes:

• Front Cleanse
• Rear Cleanse
• Pulsating Cleanse
• Soft Cleanse
• Oscillating Cleanse

Some even have an adjustable wand feature that allows you to more finely aim the cleansing spray! When you’re done with your choice of cleansing methods, the warm-air dryer takes care of the rest, with 5 cozy temperature settings.

And all these years I’ve been using toilet paper, like a chump.